Starting to feel "burnout"?

In my last job, I started getting more work given to me. Perhaps it was because of my knowledge, or it may have been because I didn't know how to say "NO".

I thought that if I worked more hours, then I could get all of the extra work done in time, without asking for help from anyone.

I soon noticed that small things were triggering me, small things like "can we visit the family this weekend" or "can we go for a walk in the park on Sunday". Didn't people know that I was too busy? couldn't they see that I didn't have the spare time anymore?

When the moaning started about me doing too much work and not spending enough "time with the family", I then started shouting back! at everyone, about everything.

I couldn't see what was happening to me, I couldn't see that "the job" was starting to make me ill.

Then one of my kids started struggling with their mental health, and when one of them confided in me, I felt a sudden sinking feeling inside.

I didn't know that my brain didn't know the difference between reality and fiction, so even though the bad things were happening to other people, my brain thought it was happening to me!

I suppose I was like every other parent, trying to help their kids out, but not realising what was happening to me.

No one ever tells you about how to look after yourself (before it gets too bad). We aren't taught at school how to cope with other peoples problems, its just something we all just "soldier on" with.

I remember going to my G.P's about my anger issues, and was given antidepressant straight away. But I wasn't depressed! so why the tablets?

I was also referred to a "shrink", which I was told that because I said that I "DIDN'T" feel stressed, this showed that I needed help.

I had 5 sessions with the shrink, he just listened to me go on about how angry I was about everyone asking more and more of me. He just nodded and said, "I see". On the fifth session, he asked me "what do you think you need to do, to make yourself better. I replied "I need to get rid of the cause of the problem". He then said that he no longer needed to see me.

Now I know why I was pointed in this direction:

1. Anger is linked to depression and anxiety, as they are all found in the primitive part of the brain.

2. Being a "people pleaser" isn't the answer to an easy life.

3. Putting yourself "FIRST" isn't an easy thing to do, but it is what's needed for you to get better.

4. Being able to say "NO" to people, who you know are taking advantage of your good nature, get easier the more you do it.

I use this metaphor a lot with clients:

When you board a plane to go on holiday and they go through the safety instructions, what is the MOST IMPORTANT instruction they give you?

"PUT YOUR MASK ON FIRST", as you can't help anyone, if "YOU CAN'T BREATHE".

If the people around you start noticing your mood change, from happy to anger "all of a sudden", or even you start to feel different in yourself, then please reach out for help. I have some tools that may just help you get better, but only if "YOU" put the work in.

It is not a "WEEKNESS" to ask for help, try and think like you are "getting your car serviced", so it doesn't break down, and so you don't need to get a new one!

PLEASE reach out for help now, before your current symptom's of "starting to feel burnout" turn into actually being "burnt-out". I can help with both, but the sooner we address it, the quicker you'll start to feel better.